Look how badass he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.
Rebloggin for the comments.
Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this just keeps getting better!!!
Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
but this just keeps getting better and better
EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS
OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying
It gets better every time!
I am CRYING oh my god
[[And there will be that one guy.
He won’t run or never call again.
He’ll sit there and play along.
“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”
It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong.
That sounds like a nightmare.
it absolutely was. I’ve helped SO many people move, and most of those moves have been super painless and even relatively enjoyable. This one was just wrong in so many ways.
Oof. That makes more sense, but talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. You’re an awfully nice person to stay for her husband when she was being so terrible to you.
Mr Ellipsis did compliment me on my ability to hold back and not tell her off yesterday. I’m very non-confrontational, so I usually don’t make a fuss. But it took pretty much everything in me to not snap right back and tell her to her face that she was being completely awful to everyone.
My friends will be helping me move in a month (in Arizona heat) and this story makes me want to send them all a preemptive thank-you basket of, like, ice cream and rainbows.
and that makes you a wonderful person, even for just thinking it! Luckily it wasn’t TOO horrible heat wise yesterday (but it’s still vegas, it was still easily into the 90’s).
Holy crap, what on earth is going on with her? I can’t even fathom anything that would explain that kind of behavior. Is she normally like this? Any chance she could have a brain tumor? I’m serious—that’s not normal behavior.
Unfortunately this behavior is NOT that out of the norm for her. She’s very much a spoiled, high maintenance type of person who gets upset over small things and blows them out of proportion. But in all my past dealings with her I’ve always been on her good side and I’ve never seen her take it to that type of level without REALLY having a good justification for it. I never thought she would turn that attitude on the people that are helping her out. It’s extremely ridiculous, but not that out of character.
Holy shit. Holy shit. What a fuckface. AND WHO THE FUCK MOVES WITHOUT PACKING?!
THANK YOU!! Right, I mean to ask your friends to be free labor and help you move, fine, that’s what friends do. But to not be packed AT ALL, not feed us all day, AND berate us all day while we do it. NOT OK.
I literally don’t even know how to sum this disaster up properly or succinctly, so this is going to be long. Below the cut
Because i watched all 3 LOTR movies today, and les mis, and a bunch of episodes of workaholics
spent all day yesterday eating my feelings and then got shitfaced. Good strategy mrs ellipsis…really made things so much better…now i’m sitting on the couch, hungover as fuck, and refreshing my email every 2 seconds waiting for word on funeral arrangements and stuff.